While the movies were really awful, the food wasn’t half bad for airplane food.  We have arrived in Zagreb a tad early, and are going  to the USO to meet Nick.

Nick Goodier is my best friend.  He and I have known each other for 20 years now, and our friendship has grown over the past two decades.  He is the brother I have never had, and I am like a third brother to him. (he has two natural ones)  He was the best man in my wedding.  I wasn’t in his….but that’s okay….becuase I was the minister performing the ceremony!!!  He and his wife Laurie and daughter Olivia moved to Germany in April as Laurie works for the US military in the childcare department.  I told him about the trip, and he thought it a good time to try to get together. 

After a few minutes (36, but who is really counting), I hear this distinctive voice call my name.  I knew it was Nick.  We found a little airport café, and just had a time to talk.  It did my heart good to see him and his family.  The rest of the crew with us (we had 13 people in total, four others with me on my flight) wasn’t sure what to do, since they didn’t really know him, so they bought some coffee drinks and relaxed while Nick, Laurie, Olivia and I talked and caught up with life.  After about an hour, we headed back to our gate, as we would have to go through security again to get to our terminal.  I can’t say enough how great it was to see Nick, Laurie, and ever-growing Olivia.

Tim and Taylor Johnson, two brothers who both work at the church with me are on this trip.  They really enjoy professional hockey; the Detroit Red Wings their team of choice.  While at the gate awaiting our connection to Zagreb, we are valiantly trying to grab an update of the Stanley Cup playoffs between Detroit and the Pittsburgh Penguins. (now that is a name that makes me quake in fear…. “Hey…you are going to face the mighty, dreaded, feared……….Penguins???? )  We are unsuccessful to grab news on the game. 

Even Tony and Tony don’t know.  Tony is an older man who splits time between Canada and Croatia.  Tony 2 is a middle-30’s guy who is Croatian and also splits time, only his primary residence is in Germany.  They both were talking about the game, and we thought they knew results, but they were asking us if we knew!  Both recommend that we see the coast of Croatia, which is a growing tourist destination. 

While on the bus going to the runway, a college student who was wearing a jacket with “Toronto” on it boarded right next to me.  I am guessing he is Canadian, and he worked for two Toronto sports teams.  I ask about the Stanley Cup, and he remarked that Detroit won the series in the 6^th game.  Tim and Taylor let up a shout of joy, much to the shock of the mostly-elderly crew on the bus. 

It’s 2:30 p.m. Croatia time.  We arrive in Zagreb safely, and make it through their version of customs.  We are at to the baggage claim and wait for our luggage (well, for four of us.  I packed everything on a carry-on).

We wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

And wait some more-more.

Pretty soon, we are the only ones left here.  Our baggage is lost!!!  We are a little shell- shocked, but not too dismayed.

Looking back, lost luggage would not be the only shock on June 5 to come our way.  Tim is checking with airport folks to see what happened, and we meet our host, Allen Hiller, a missionary that works with folks coming to Croatia.  It was there that we find out that Stefan, the young man I told you about in my support letter was in the hospital.  He possibly has mono, and this is a greater shock than luggage.  He was and is a main reason we are here.  Now, our immediate future is up in the air. 

Stefan’s hospitalization would not be the only shock on June 5 to come our way.

We drive from Zagreb to Sisak, where we would be doing most of our work.  We are checking in at the police station, something every foreigner must do.  The police officer doesn’t believe me to be 35.  He thinks I am 19.  That’s funny. 

Okay…stop your laughing….it’s not THAT FUNNY.

After checking in with the cops, we make our way to Andy’s house.  Andy is a worship leader at one of the local churches.  It is here that the real shock came to light.

We aren’t having the leadership camp.  The Slovakian pastors are not coming.  The BEAT leaders are going to still be in school.  Basically, the ENTIRE REASON I am on this trip has now been rendered more obsolete than a VCR in the 21^st century.  I am numb.

I also am a few other things; namely guilty and mad.  I feel as if I should pay every person who gave money to me to be here back, for I’m no longer going for the reasons I stated in my letter.  I feel an acute obligation to those who willingly gave me money to be here, and really feel crushed.  I almost feel as if I have lied to them.  While I haven’t lied, it really feels that way.  I am finding myself getting extremely angry internally with Allen. 

He has known that those guys would be in school, yet he schedules this camp anyways?  That makes no sense to me whatsoever, and angers me to no end.  Some of you may know that I have quite a temper.  If I’m yelling about something, or being animated, that’s actually a good thing.  That means I am not so mad.

When I become very quiet, it’s probably best not to talk to me at that point, for I am approaching volcanic levels of anger.  At this point, I am so angry that I not only become quiet, I have to lie down.  My head is spinning.

No leadership camp.

Lost luggage.

Our main go-to guy is in the hospital.

And the missionary that is supposed to help us isn’t helping at all. 

I am really having a hard time understanding Allen right now.  David Moss told me before hand that he has a very dry wit and sense of humor, and often will say something very caustic at first to test you.  He also speaks softly at times, making it hard to understand him.  I have to continually ask him to repeat himself.  Now, I am all for wit, sense of humor, and caustic.  I live and breathe those things. 

Not having a back-up plan?  I’m not at all for that. 

Not making people aware of MASSIVE changes to the ENTIRE REASON you have come?  I’m not at all for that either.

When I inquire about the plan, he remarks with a “We’ll see. Be flexible”  I have to lay back down, otherwise I may spontaneously combust.  I am floored…..pardon the pun.  I am in disbelief that he does not have a back-up plan.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

But, I’m preaching on June 15^{th at} Andy’s church.  While I am honored, I am not aware of this until he tells me.  I have not planned to speak at all other than the training sessions.  I had found out about the extra BEAT café that they added on June 13^th the day before we left and was planning what to do.  Now, I’m preaching again.  Don’t get me wrong, I love preaching, and have gotten comfortable in front of people.  It’s a matter of planning.  He can think ahead two weeks to a Sunday morning church service, but he cannot think about the main reason I’m here?

Like I said earlier, I am really having a hard time dealing with this.  Yet, I know these things:  God is good.  God is in control of all things.  God made Allen in His image and loves Allen unconditionally.  And…..God is calling me to love who He has made regardless of how I feel.  Allen is not the problem, no matter what I think.

I am the problem. 

I cannot change Allen, or anything/one else.  I can only, by God’s great grace, change myself.

It’s 7 p.m. and we are at the camp to unload luggage and get settled in.  I try to help get suitcases unloaded, and get rebuffed time after time.  “You want to pace yourself Jason” is what I hear.

Yeah, I think…..that’s why I have a pacemakerJ!!

Finally, one teammate asks me if I “can handle picking up that water bottle” laying on the floor of the van.  I know he was joking.  He knows he’s joking.  But that comment hurts on a level I wasn’t previously aware existed.  I am feeling completely useless.

I want to go home already.

I feel like I’ve been brought here under false pretenses.  I cannot think objectively at this point, so as I am writing this and fleshing this out, I am guilty of extreme bias. 

We are eating a late dinner of sandwiches, which is fine by me, and we are about to meet as a team (all 13 are here now) for the first time.

It’s 9 p.m.  Each of us shares our testimony.  I am hearing some amazing stories; stories that help me lift my gaze from my current despondency.  God has done some unique things in the lives of Tim, Taylor, Amanda, Heidi, Debbie, Kathi, Keaton, David, Hollie, Sam, Grant, and Ian.  I notice that some common elements emerge in their stories of faith:

            -They all have grown up in church.

            -Their parents have taken them to church.

            -They all rebelled in ways big and small.

            -God has captured their hearts.

It’s near midnight in Croatia.  I hope that our time here is really worth it.  Unfortunately, I fear that it will not be.

God, will you make this worth Your time?