Archive for June 22, 2008

Croatia Chronicles part 4: Flooded 6.7.08

It’s 11:40 a.m. Croatia time.  Due to the very late night, we sleep in.  And to be honest, I think I can sleep another 2 hours.  It’s raining outside.  Not too heavy, but enough to get us scurrying for cover anytime we have to go outside for any reason.

 

The road is flooded.  The creek that runs underneath the road has bubbled over to the point that the van or rental car probably wouldn’t make it.  So, we have a somewhat forced day to rest.  Heidi, Sam, and Taylor play in the rain, including going rafting down the creek!!  It was funny watching them play and navigate the currents. 

 

During the day, we play UNO and Spades, and I lose nearly all games.  I used to be good at spades, but have lost my touch.  Oh well.  It was fun playing with everyone and getting to know Grant.

 

Grant Moss is David’s son.  David is energetic and loud.  Grant is very quiet.  But he has the uncanniest observations.  For example:

 

“Grant, what are you made of man?”

 

“Mostly water.”

 

Priceless and brilliant!

 

My feeling of goodness is short lived.  Everyone has lumped into a group, and I sense that I’m the odd man out.  David and Hollie are together.  They are in the process of going down the road to engagement.  Heidi and Taylor are together.  They are not in that process, but as stated earlier, are very close friends.  Some people are playing poker.  I don’t know how to play it.  Some people are playing basketball now that the rain has subsided.  I can never play basketball again. 

 

It’s 7 p.m.  Timi and Sergei, another BEAT leader, come over for a while.  We talk about the week to come.  There is no planning whatsoever, and it is beginning to wear on me.  Apparently tomorrow night there is a big soccer (football) match between Croatia and I think Austria for the EuroCup, and a few people are going into Zagreb to pass out tracts.  Other than that, we aren’t being successful in planning much of anything. 

 

God, why am I here?  Why did You want me to be on this trip?  Why am I so downcast?  And, can others tell?

 

I wish I could sugar-coat this, but I can’t.  The brutal truth is this:  I wish I were home.  I can’t begin to state how much I don’t want to be here.

 

 

 

Croatia Chronicles part 3: Frustrated 6.6.08

It’s 8:30 a.m.  We are up and about.  I am looking at our sleeping quarters and laugh.  There is mildew on the walls, and the mattresses are older than Harrison Ford in the new Indiana Jones movie.  But my sleep was good.  I thank God for sleep, and head to breakfast.

 

The shower feels good…but I have temporarily lost my towel!!  Thankfully there are extra’s I can use.  There are two sleeping areas, one called the “Upper House.”  All the guys are staying here.  The reason the cabin is called the “Upper House,” is because it’s uphill.  And my heart is absolutely loving that…….

 

We leave for the city (Sisak) at 10:30 a.m.  I am getting sleepy as we drive.  It’s semi-rainy, and the weather was supposed to be sunny and hot.  Instead, it’s rainy and cool/borderline cold.  We stop at the church where the BEAT will be later tonight to get some things unloaded and set up.

 

It’s noon.  We are walking through Sisak.  We see some Roman ruins, and I am struck by a thought.  I bet that the Romans never thought that a few hundred years after their time, that there would be a monument to the fact that they are no longer the ones in charge of the world.  It reminds me of the church in America.  We  think everything is okay, but if we don’t keep praying and trusting God, people will walk by our empty buildings hundreds of years later saying, “they used to be relevant and useful.” 

 

It’s 1 p.m.  We are at a Sisak coffee shop.  It’s really smoky, which should come to no surprise of anyone who has been to Europe.  I don’t see any Croatians that smile.  They seem depressed….much like me.

 

We enjoy our time, and the team enjoys their coffee.  We dropped off three teammates, Hollie, Amanda, and Debbie behind and continued walking.  We obtain some Croatian ice cream, which ahead of time has been touted better than anything in America.  While good, really good in fact, I may need some more convincing before I am going to label it the best anywhere.  I may just have to acquire some more ice cream…you know, for tasting purposesJ!!

 

It’s 2 p.m.  We meet Stefan’s mom, Svetjlana at a local outdoor pizza café.  She buys us lunch.  There are six of us, and does she buy three pizza’s?  No.

 

Four?  Wrong again.

 

She buys each of us our individual pizza!!  How hospitable she is.  How convicted I am!  Their pizza is weird to me.  There is a layer of ham underneath the cheese that I scrape off before eating.  Ham and I are not good friends, and that is likely not to change any time soon.  Stefan is doing better, but is still in the hospital. 

 

She remarks to me how I had changed since she had last seen me.  Apparently she saw me when she visited the States in ’06.  She states that I “have lost my body.  Your muscle.”  Wow.  People laugh.  And externally, so do I.  I know what she is saying.  I also know what my mind is really hearing.  My mind is really hearing “you’ll never be the same guy again.  You will never be strong again.  You are a physical kitty-cat now.  You stink.”  I know that is not true.

 

Yet, this is what my mind tells me.  And I have to fight that battle, or it will consume me.  We eat, and take pictures around the big river that runs through town before meeting Timi at 4 p.m. 

 

Timi is one of the BEAT leaders with Stefan and has great English.  He drives us to the hospital to see Stefan.  He is doing okay, but has lost a great deal of weight and is tired.  We hope he gets better and soon.  He will not be at the BEAT tonight.  But he gets to tell us some great news:  Our luggage was delivered to the camp and is all intact!

 

It’s 6 p.m.  We are at the BEAT location getting ready.  Getting instruments has been a chore due to bad planning.  I’m tired but hopeful.  At 8 p.m., people start showing up.  Stefan and his mom got me a birthday present, which was a Croatia soccer t-shirt and an oversized hat.  I was touched.  What hospitality!! 

 

It’s 8:15 p.m.  We’re full throttle into the BEAT.  The people like the music, but don’t worship to it.  It’s sad.  While the team is leading in musical worship, people are talking, joking, carrying on.  “It’s just like home,” I mutter to myself.  I go outside the room to pray.  I hadn’t prayed that intensely in a long, long time.  Ephesians 1:17-19 is what I’m praying for them.  I’m praying that their eyes would be opened to Christ.  I barely opened my eyes during the testimonies or Tim’s talk on the gain we get when we follow Christ.  Some people thought I was sick and inquired afterwards.  I was relieved to tell them I was just praying.

 

It’s 10:30 right now, and I’m still feeling pretty useless.  But I see an opportunity for usefulness, and am going to take it.  What is it?

 

Vacuuming!!!  People are amazed that I know how.  But thanks to Dad and Nelly, I am a master at it.  And Mandy is grateful too!!  Believe it or not, the first time I feel useful so far…..is pushing a vacuum cleaner.  God is very funny.

 

It’s 1:30 a.m.  I’m tired.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow.  Will this melancholy go away?