Most of the time, when I write one of these here blog thingy’s, I write to help myself process what I perceive to be God’s working in me, or comment from an observational perspective what has been on my heart and/or mind.
I don’t really take myself seriously, and from the tone of my writings, try to be as light-hearted while at the same time being reverent as the occasion warrants.
Recently in a blog post, (and I will not name it and don’t encourage you to look for it) i used a word that to the Christian-ese world, people understand to mean one thing. I made a very tragic mistake. That word can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and to those not familiar with Christian-ese (and don’t worry, you’d be better off at times if you weren’t), that word can and does take on an entirely different meaning.
The word wasn’t a cuss/swear word. It wasn’t even meant in a crass, demeaning, or vulgar way.
However, that one word caused someone some pain. They respectfully let me know that. Never in a million years would I ever expect to hear from that person through this forum or any other. But I did hear from them. And the point is, they were/seemed hurt at what I said, and for good reason.
i never wanted to cause them pain, nor meant to do that with my word choice. But the point is: i did. And it wasn’t a necessary hurt. (sometimes people have hurt me with their words because their words were very true and confrontational that led me to change. That’s a necessary hurt.) I was careless, and not thinking. And sadly, that describes me far too often.
Today, I’ve been taught a powerful lesson in watching what i write and say very carefully. I must not unnecessarily offend anyone with my verbage. I’m not a shock jock, nor a comedian (and not giving them an excuse for doing that). I can’t and must not be overtly offensive. And with one word, I was. Now, I’m kicking myself for doing it.
Here’s what I learned: It doesn’t matter what i mean by the words I say (especially when they can be taken more than one way) as much as how it lands in the eyes and hearts of those that hear and read what I write and say. Becuase of that, I need to be quicker to NOT speak/write, and to be quicker to evaluate words. They have more power than I realized.
I have apologized via email to the person that I offended. My sincerest prayer is that they would know that the last thing I wanted to do was to cause them any pain.
I AM AN IDIOT some times. Most of the time.
God has laid some smack down on me just a few minutes ago. And I have a feeling I’m going to be thinking a lot more (hopefully), and writing a lot slower.
Would you pray for me? That I would not be needlessly and recklessly offensive? Because honestly, that’s the last thing I would want to do.
But I do think I’ll be kicking myself for a while.
Jason
