Tell me dear reader, tell me a solution.
See, I have this friend. (And no, it’s not the “i’ve got-a-friend-when-really-it’s-me” scenario)
I love this friend. This friend means the world to me. I’ve had the privilege of being there for this friend during some scary-dark times. And this friend has never ceased to encourage me in similar times.
This friend, for whatever reason, has suddenly grown a tad cold (at least that’s how I perceive it) to me. COmmunication has grown short and terse. Once-common times of interaction have now grown sparse. I’m taking it not too well. I feel like I’m not needed. (And for whatever reason, I’ve got a need to be needed and I really don’t need that need.) Say that five times fast AND without looking.
Now don’t get me wrong, there could be a thousand different reasons why. This friend is busy, involved in many things that keep their calendars whirring at a brisk pace.
This friend is steeped in responsibilities and has newly acquired more responsibilities. So it could be busyness.
This time of year especially.
But I fear it’s not that. I fear that for whatever reason, something’s wrong.
So dear reader. How should I approach this friend? They’ve said nothing’s wrong, that I haven’t offended them, or anything like that.
They are very-much-committed Christian. They love Jesus.
I just want my friend back.
Here, dear reader, is where you come in. Do you have any advice to give me so I can put this to bed in my mind?
Fire away,
Jason
Sue Reno Said:
on October 17, 2009 at 11:20 am
I had something similar happen to me with my best friend across the street. For some reason she “shot” me dirty looks when we were both outside and wouldn’t even give me the time of day. I was hurt and cried for days. I did nothing, said nothing, had no idea what happened. So I sent her an email (because I knew a face to face confrontation would only leave me crying…I do that well!) asking her what, if anything, I did to offend her…that I loved her…and that I didn’t understand.
She never answered me. The next time I saw her was when my Dad was so very ill. She asked me how I was doing…guess what I did…CRIED. She hugged me and we talked about my Dad, etc., but I never did find out what happened between us.
We are good now. Not like we used to be (history going back to Ike with her adult son who is living with her…another very long story) when we would go shopping together etc., but we are good.
Don’t know if that helps, but that’s how I handled my situation.
Love you, Jason!
Sue
Leslie Said:
on October 17, 2009 at 3:00 pm
After years of friendships, I have grown to believe in every friendship there are seasons. As you watch your best friend slip away, you let them go. You miss the wonderful season that you had with them, but you let them go. You don’t know why they are all the sudden hanging with another friend all the time and talking about the other friend all the time, then you are pretty much on the outs. The friendship turns to fall, then quickly to the cold of winter. You wish the friendship would come back to Spring but, alas, it does not and probably never will. You enjoy the memories and hope that God will bring a true friend. One that will last for a lifetime. I believe, if you can find 2 or 3 of these friends, you are blessed. My parents are in their mid 80’s and have had glorious friendships through the years. Of their friendships that have lasted, there are but a few. This isn’t encouraging but I do believe it is true. So, in the end, all you can do is be a good friend and learn to let go. I’m sorry for the loss and you will grieve it. But, God will always bring a true friend into your life.
ddh Said:
on October 17, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Jason,
I am praying for God to touch you in this situation.
Delanie
kevo Said:
on October 17, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Ask him (I’m assuming it’s a him) what happened. Tell him how much he means to you, and how much you value his friendship. It’s okay to be needy, just let him know your need. Maybe I’m just young and naive, but I fight for my friends. I have been through a similar situation and I fought to get that friend back.
Also, understand that he needs you. God put in us a need for community and relationships. Ya’ll need each other and that’s okay, you just have to make it known.
I just prayed for you, so everything should be all better now.
Dolly Cruise Said:
on October 26, 2009 at 8:23 pm
If you’ve been able to be open with each other and truthful, there is no reason why you can’t approach him/her in the same vein. To let him/her know how you feel, what you’ve observed (as far as short, terse responses or not hearing from him/her) and that you do believe something is not as it used to be. But above all……leave this relationship in God’s hands. Pray for your friend. Ask God for wisdom. When you’ve done all that you can do……..continue to trust God and to love your friend.